PS: This is a guest post by a good friend of mine who reached recovery. He wants to share his story to inspire others who’s struggling with addiction, and to give hope to those who have a loved one who’s struggling with addiction,
On October 17th of this year, I will celebrate my 17th year of sobriety.
My good friend bought me one bottle of beer for me to open on that day to celebrate.
I know it may seem weird, but she did it because she knows that alcohol no longer has power over me. That now I can have a bottle of beer or a shot of liquor and stop. That I am not an alcoholic anymore.
I was an alcoholic for 20+ years. During my years being an alcoholic, things were different. Back then, on any given day, I would drink many beers plus whiskey, wine, or whatever was on hand. I drank like a fish, I didn’t have any care of the world. And it was true, I didn’t. I went to work, went to the bar or a friend’s house after work, we all would all sit around and drink until the wee hours,then jump in our cars and drive home. Wake up in the morning go to work, and do it all over again. That was our lifestyle.
It got so bad, at one point, I lost almost everything I had. Life was all about alcohol, drugs, and fast cars. Nothing else mattered. It was so bad that I even sold my house to continue living this lifestyle. It had completely taken control of all my rational thoughts. By the time I realized how bad things were, and I wanted to stop, I didn’t know how. I had lost control over myself, and it started to scare me. My addiction controlled me, I was convinced I would not live pass 30.
That was when I wrote that poem on the picture above. I had no faith, I had no hope.
But then one hot August day, I met a person who could not drink! (that was the first time for me, I didn’t know that it exist). This person was new in Canada, attending a graduate school.
I found out that she couldn’t tolerate alcohol when her classmates, who were my friends, called me (because I was the only Canadian friend with a car that they knew), asking for help to bring her home because she passed out in a restaurant after drinking a HALF glass of wine with empty stomach after working all day at the computer lab at school.
That night after dropping her off, as I lay awake, thinking. Could this be my way to stop drinking? All the people I knew drink heavily. I have never met someone in my life who cannot drink. So I made my decision. I said to myself, I would never let her see me drunk.
So, day after day since I made that vow, I made the effort to see her often. I would offer her a ride home from school, helped her getting groceries or other things. I would offer to take her to the creek, the park, or any other nature spots around, anywhere to keep me away from the alcohol.
She did find it odd that I saw her that often and offered that much help, considering we just met, but for months I didn’t say anything, I was too ashamed to tell her the truth; that it was my way of staying sober.
I stopped seeing my drinking buddies or going to bars, I started hanging out at Starbucks instead.
The thing I noticed most about her was her determination and persistence. She could be very stubborn, in a good way. The course she took was really hard; she often had to stay up all night to finish the assignments. There were days when she broke down and cried, but she always picked herself up and got back to work. She just would not give up.
Seeing her stubbornness helped me to keep my vow; it helped me to stay sober.
And here I am, 17 years later, still sober.
I have to admit there were many times when it was really hard to stay sober. There were days when all I wanted to do was get drunk and forget everything, but somehow, I didn’t. I went for coffee instead.
Recently I met an old friend who was also an alcoholic back then. He is now 11 years sober. We talked over coffee, reminiscing the old days. And we both agreed, we drank because we wanted to numb our pain. Our mental anguish was so bad, we drank to drown it. And when we finally found a way to deal with our pain, we were able to have control over the alcohol.
It is also having someone who believes in us, someone who will validate our pain but at the same time will cheer us up, someone who will say, “I know you’re doing the best you can, but I also know, you can do better”, that helped us heal from our addiction.
I decided to share this story to show people that recovery is possible. Find your own way to recovery. There’s no one size fits all. There’s no magic pills. There’s no one magic method that will work any for everyone. You have to find your own way, something that works for you.
Recovery is possible. But you have to want it.
You have to want it so badly, that you are willing to suffer through the process towards recovery. But yes, I am here to tell you, my friend, recovery is possible. It will happen. Trust me.
All the best.
work with the brain you have 